ADDICTION:
the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming
If you take a look around I'm sure that there is someone in your family, a friend, a coworker or friendly acquaintance that is battling this awful disease. Addiction has been a part of my family for a very long time. I think we all just wanted to ignore it. Act like it wasn't an actual problem. Just kept telling ourselves that he will eventually get better. He will stop. He has before, right? He's just coping with the difficulties of his life. Well coping with a substance leads to depending on that substance. Turning to it in every aspect of your life. Whether it be to celebrate, you turn to it, or to deal with a bad day at work, you turn to it. In our situation it is alcohol. It's just a beer. It's just a few beers. It's just a case. By then it isn't enough. Isn't enough to get rid of the pain. Something stronger is needed. Liquor then becomes the crutch.
For as long as I can remember I have watched this downward spiral. Watched him go through the heartaches, made excuses for him. Covered for him. I had tried the yelling, the screaming. Nothing got through to him. I would spend nights just crying over him. Feeling completely helpless. If he didn't want to change then I didn't care. I just gave up. I didn't do anything.
My husband decided that we were going to start praying as a family in the evenings. Now we always pray with our children before they go to bed at night, but it's usually the same version of previous nights. Help them sleep well, help them have a good day, thank you for no injuries today, etc. The night my husband started our family prayer time he prayed for him. And my heart sank because it was then that I realized that I was so mad at him that I wasn't even praying for him. If I had given up on him and stopped praying for him then who else had?
I can't even imagine how trapped that he must feel. To feel like he can't function without it. I have no idea the thoughts that run through his head. The demons that he is trying to drown. I have never walked in his shoes. I have never experienced a lot of the pain that he has. He is a victim of this awful disease. He is a slave to its powers. It has taken over his life. It has claimed his family.
As I write this we are trying to get him help that he needs. He is finally willing to get help. I know that unless he wants this for himself I cannot force it upon him. All I can do is pray. I have put it in God's hands. I will wait, patiently, for God's call for me to act.
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
I needed to read this tonight. Thank you. It is my ex-husband with the problem but I should still pray for him. I gave up a long time ago. I recently made new boundaries and it is hard to stand firm. I am a single mom because of his drinking. I left over 4 years ago. It took 3 of those years for him to admit he had a problem. This last year has had so many ups and downs.
ReplyDeleteCourtney, I have also set boundaries with my family member. He is not allowed to be around my children. It's not fair for them to see him like this. It is such a difficult thing to do. I feel terrible for even having to set them. But we pray for him. At this point it is the only thing that we can do. And it is the best thing we can do. I pray that your ex husband receives the help he needs and your family can begin the healing process. Thank you for sharing.
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